It's Aliiiiiiive!
So, decided to move the host around again. And as I never updated the old one either, I figured I would create something new that I probably won't update either, but at least it won't have need a full LAMP stack to do nothing with.
Nothing special, though I'm thinking I'll try for really minimalist, which is a fancy way of saying I am unsure of how much work I'll actually put into it.